How did you guys meet?

It was through my sister’s ex-boyfriend. This was in December 2020, and my sister posted a photo of her boyfriend’s brother, Micah*, on her WhatsApp status. I told my sister I thought he looked good. My sister told her boyfriend, and he got excited and asked me if I liked Micah as a friend or something more. I said maybe it was a little bit of both, so he gave me Micah’s number. I sent him a message introducing myself, and that’s how our conversations began.

So when did you guys become official?

January 10, 2021. We started talking right after Christmas in December. Our first conversation was so smooth and enjoyable that we never stopped talking.  So in January, I asked him out, and we started dating.

What was the beginning of your relationship like?

Omo, it was the best time of my life. I don’t think I’ve been in a relationship that was as good as this one with Micah. The first two weeks were the sweetest honeymoon phase ever. We lived far apart from each other in different cities, but we talked all the time. 

What happened after the honeymoon phase?

We started having significant issues. Micah had to return to school for a course, so we became a long-distance couple. He lived in another city with poor road conditions, and my strict parents made it difficult for me to visit him. Adjusting to this new reality of a long-distance relationship was very difficult for me. He called me a lot though. If there were an award for the most video calls, we would have won. 

However, I felt like he put zero effort into seeing me physically, and that hurt. I reluctantly adjusted to the distance, but then I started to sabotage the relationship.

How so?

I wasn’t used to dating people in my age range, so it took some getting used to. Plus I liked bad boys and needed the gbas gbos, toxic factor in a relationship to keep me excited.  So I felt like he was too good for me because he’s really laid back. If I was wrong in a fight, Micah would apologise. 

 Once, in 2022, I told him I cheated on him. It was a lie, and I said that just for the fun of it.  But I didn’t expect his reaction: he started apologising, saying it must have been something he did that made me cheat. I was so blown away and kind of disappointed. Then shortly after, I actually started cheating emotionally: I was talking to someone else. In my defence, I told him, but guess what he said? He said he’d work on himself so I wouldn’t have to look outside for anything.

How did his declaration make you feel?

I felt bored.  He wasn’t going to fight with me or get mad, so I ghosted him. He texted for weeks, and I didn’t reply or acknowledge them. In May or June 2022, he stopped reaching out.

So when he stopped texting, did you reach out?

Yeah, I did. In October 2022, I texted him, told a few lies to explain my ghosting, and managed to get back into his life. We started talking regularly again.

So you guys got back together?

We almost did, but I ghosted him again. I’m sorry I can’t help myself. I left him for another relationship in December 2022. This time, though, we didn’t speak for over a year till he replied to one of my posts in early 2024. We started talking again, and we became official for the second time in April 2024.

Omo, you’re starting to look like the villain here

I was for a long time until this man switched up on me. I couldn’t believe it.

What happened?

Our relationship was short-lived. We started dating in April 2024 and were done by May. Micah had just graduated from the course he returned to school for and was processing his clearance. He came to my city in April, stayed a few days, and we had a wonderful time. Then, he switched up after he left. He suddenly didn’t pick up my calls or reply to my messages.

Did you confront him?

I did, and he admitted that he knew exactly what he was doing. He said he felt bad about it and confessed he wanted some space. I tried to break up with him, but he claimed that he wanted our relationship; he just needed space. I talked to my sister and close friends, who advised me that this guy was trying to do a soft breakup and I shouldn’t fall for the bait. So I told Micah I wasn’t doing the space thing with him and that we should break up in peace. He tried to force us to stay together, but I had made up my mind.

What happened next?

Well, things got really complicated. I found out I was pregnant. 

Whoa, did you tell Micah?

Yes o. When I wasn’t sure, I told him I was going to the hospital, but I was praying that it wasn’t a pregnancy. Micah was like, “Why should we pray? It’s not pregnancy.” 

When it became definite I was pregnant, he advocated that we keep the baby. I didn’t want to because I’m still at university, and I don’t want to disrupt my studies for a baby. 

Micah’s family is wealthy, so I guess that’s where his confidence came from. My family is average and quite strict —I didn’t see how I could go and tell them I was pregnant without serious consequences. 

Micah was in la-la land talking about his excitement to have kids with me while I was seriously thinking about how to make this baby fit in with my plans for my future. I talked to my cousin, who was a medical student, and he detailed the process of an abortion and how every second was crucial if that was the route I wanted to go. It sounded painful and scary, and I didn’t want to do it, so we opted to keep the baby.

Then he switched up completely.

Tell me how

Micah hinted his mum about the pregnancy, and she reacted angrily. She said he was too young, and even if he was going to have a baby, he couldn’t have one out of wedlock. Micah came to tell me he changed his mind and we should get rid of the pregnancy. By this point, I was already three months pregnant. 

I was so upset and needed emotional support, but Micah left me hanging completely. He promised to send money to get the procedure done, but then he stopped replying to my messages and became hard to get a hold of. 

The pregnancy hormones had started to get to me; I couldn’t eat, and I was so uncomfortable, but Micah treated me like a stranger. I couldn’t recognise him at all. To me, there was no way the guy I met back in 2021 would treat me like this, yet here we were.

My sister accompanied me to the procedure because Micah claimed he was too busy to come. Tell me why I saw him on my sister’s boyfriend’s snap in my city, grabbing drinks and chilling. I was overwhelmed with anger.

The procedure was painful and traumatic. I cried for hours. The next day, I called him and cried on the phone for more than thirty minutes, and he was silent the whole time. He said he was busy, and he would call me back. He never called back. I bled for a month straight, and he didn’t check on me once. 

Oh my goodness, that’s horrible

See, I asked him for money to go to the hospital when the bleeding didn’t stop, and he said, ”Are you asking me for permission to go to the hospital? Okay, you have my permission; go.” I had to use my own money to sort things out. Again, he didn’t reach out to me at all. I had it out for him after that, and we didn’t speak for a few months. Then he reached out to me like nothing had happened.

How did you respond?

I won’t lie; I responded to his messages. After the abortion and the aftermath, I took my walk with God more seriously and learned forgiveness. In church, they talked about how Christians shouldn’t hold grudges against people who wronged them and how forgiveness can be freeing. So I let all the hurt and anger go.

Micah told me he still liked me, and I have to admit, he’s the exact type of guy I would love to settle down with because of his personality. I still like him a lot, but I’m choosing me right now.

Do you guys still speak?

Oh yeah. It’s nothing like when we just met but we respond to each other’s posts on social media, and I even wished him a happy birthday this past November. 

Do you think you guys will ever get back together?

I doubt it. While I admit I still have a soft spot for him, and I would love to settle down with someone like him, it’s just too soon to even consider him. He sometimes says he feels like I’m too good for him, but I’m in a happy relationship right now, so I’m not concerned. I’m just grateful to God for delivering me from that Scorpio spawn of the devil.

How did you and Danny* meet?

I had just moved to the mainland to focus on building my music production business. The landlord where I stayed didn’t allow me to set up my studio, so I was looking for a cheap room to rent and use as a workspace. Danny and I were supposed to collaborate on a song, but when he heard I was looking to rent, he suggested I use the empty room in his flat for free. 

I was excited, but I didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness, so I suggested producing and mixing his songs at a discount since we were both just starting out. He agreed, and we started hanging out for work and drinks. His place was close to Unilag and my flat, so it worked out great.

How did this business arrangement go?

It went smoothly at first. Danny and I worked on six or seven of his songs. To be honest, I didn’t think he was a good artist, but God forbid I spit on someone’s dream. My job was to make beats and ensure his songs sounded  good, and I did my job well. Then cracks started forming in our friendship.

What happened?

It started with him randomly dodging me. I wanted to use the studio to work with other clients and build my portfolio, not just Danny. While he agreed to it initially, he started making ridiculous excuses whenever I wanted to bring clients over.  

At first, I didn’t think much of it, but I began noticing a pattern. Something always came up whenever I wanted to use the studio for other clients, and my resentment started building. I worked around it by lying that I was coming over to work on his songs and then bringing my clients along.

Eventually, he started acting high-handed and arrogant, which I initially brushed off as him being sensitive. But it became irritating, and I started reconsidering our arrangement. What was the point if I couldn’t use the studio freely and had to deal with his behaviour?

Right. So you stopped working with him?

Not immediately.  Our business relationship was strained because of his silly behaviour, but our friendship was still okay. We often met at his store near Unilag to drink and chill in the evenings. Funny enough, it was  a car accident that finally ended our  friendship.

An accident? How did that happen?

I used to casually see someone in Unilag before I met Danny. One day, my babe and her friend joined us at our regular drinking spot. We all got drunk and went our separate ways. What we didn’t know was that one of the girls had Danny’s car key in her bag.

Danny’s car was a push-to-start car so as long as the key was inside, it would start. We dropped the girls off at Unilag and didn’t realise the key didn’t come home with us until it was too late.  I suggested we wait till the next day to get the key since we were both drunk, but Danny insisted we drive back to Unilag in my car. On our way to Unilag, I dozed off at the wheel, and we got into a really bad accident. My car was badly damaged, but thankfully, we weren’t injured. Since the accident happened near his house, he suggested I use his mechanic. It didn’t seem like a bad idea, so I agreed.

The mechanic worked on my car but started delaying the delivery of my key. I went to try to retrieve it, and the man told me I needed “Brother Danny’s” permission to take my car because that was the instruction he’d received.  I almost lost it. I’d paid for the repairs myself, so I couldn’t understand why I needed someone else’s permission to get my ride back. 

Did you confront  Danny about this?

Of course. His response was ridiculous. He said I had to give him all of his songs I’d worked on before he’d tell the mechanic to release my car. Mind you, he didn’t even want to pay the discounted price we’d agreed on. I told him it wasn’t happening, and he started dodging me. In his small mind, this was his way of getting the songs for free, and it wouldn’t fly with me. I hate being cheated.

What did you do next?

I paid him a surprise visit very early on a Saturday morning because I knew he’d be home. I had a spare key to the flat,  so I let myself in and went straight to his room. There was a girl in his bed, but when she saw me, she packed her things and left. After she left, it was just Danny and I in the room. I asked him to call the mechanic to release my car, and he refused, saying I had to drop the songs first. I rolled up my sleeves and beat the living daylights out of him.

Ah!

Oh yes, I beat him until I was tired. I kept saying, “Give me my car key, and I’ll leave your house,” but he refused. He started yelling and threatening to get me locked up. Then he picked up his phone and called in some soldiers. When I saw him making the call, I called my friends too. I was ready for war. Luckily, the soldiers and my friends arrived at the same time. I knew how to talk to military people, so instead of fighting, I explained the whole situation to them. They agreed Danny was wrong for impounding my car and said he also had to pay me the discounted amount we had agreed on for the songs.

I collected my money–₦170,000 at the time—and my car key that day. I also packed up my studio equipment from his house. The funniest part? After the whole debacle, we all went out for drinks, including the fool who was holding on to my key.

Have you guys spoken since that time?

Two or three months later, he tried to talk to me like nothing happened, but I aired him. We’re civil if we have to interact in public, but that guy is not my friend.

I even heard one of his recent releases and I sleep well at night knowing his music career can never blow.

How did you meet Tayo*?

Neema: We met online after a mutual friend, Derin*, posted my picture on my 20th birthday in 2016. Tayo* saw the picture, liked what he saw, and tracked down my Snapchat username. It was easy for him to find my handle since it was in my Instagram bio. He added me, sent a message on Snapchat, and that’s how everything took off. 

He was turning 19 that year, but I didn’t mind. As soon as we started talking, there was an immediate attraction between us, and we started talking to each other regularly.

So you guys started dating immediately?

Neema: No, we stayed close friends. At the time, Tayo was shuffling between Kwara and Lagos, while I was in the UK. He was easy to talk to, and we bonded over our mutual love for music since we were both musicians.

Later that year, I came to Nigeria for a holiday. During my one-month stay, we met in person and officially became a long-distance couple in August.

What happened next?

Neema: I went back to the UK to continue my studies, and in 2016, Tayo got a scholarship to a UK university and moved over too. But we were in different cities, so it was still a long-distance relationship. Despite that, we were best friends even though we were in a relationship. Still, our situation was a little complex.

What made it complex?

Neema: There was a sudden pressure to get married. Our church and families were very important fixtures in our lives, and we also worked as youth pastors. Before our relationship was two years old, they started asking questions about marriage. The pressure to walk down the aisle was overwhelming and honestly,  scary.

Why?

Neema: I had my reservations. We had a big argument at the end of our first year together and briefly broke up before getting back together. I felt like our relationship was still “soft”, but his family kept pushing for marriage.

I’m a British citizen, so their reasoning was, “Okay, you guys are going to end up together anyway,  so what’s the point in delaying this whole thing? You guys should get married so he doesn’t have to return to Nigeria.” 

It was a traumatising situation for me because I didn’t want to get married at 22. My mind wasn’t there at all, but I loved him and convinced myself I could help him avoid the stress of going back to Nigeria. I was uneasy about this, but I kept trying to justify it in my mind. 

Was your family pressuring you to marry him as well?

Neema: There was no pressure from my family. In fact, some of my relatives were against it, especially my aunt, who I was living with. It caused a big fight between us. I know I said I wasn’t keen on getting hitched, but at the same time, I couldn’t understand why she was so angry. I felt like she had her own agenda because we already had issues involving money and other family matters. Anyway, towards the end of our second year together, Tayo and I broke up again.

Ah, why?

Neema: We’d been going through a really rough patch. We argued a lot more than we used to, and eventually, parted ways. During the breakup, I found out he’d cheated multiple times while we were together. I got this information from people close to us in the church. I forgave him though, and we got back together despite everything. 

So he proposed after you found out about the infidelity?

Neema: Not particularly. He never actually proposed. Because of the pressure from the church and his family, we agreed to move forward with marriage since we loved each other. I had forgiven him, and we both wanted to move past the cheating and start our lives together as a couple.

Okay, so talk to me about the wedding. How did that go?

Neema: It never happened. We had just entered the third year of our relationship, and the marriage thing was becoming real. We’d bought the wedding dress and rings, sent out invites, notified the church, and planned everything else. In fact, Tayo and I had gone to the registry to finalise our preparations for the wedding. Even my aunt who had opposed the idea initially, eventually backed off and became more accepting. 

Three weeks before the wedding, my church organised a week-long retreat in Wales I had to attend because of my leadership role. On the way back from the retreat, one of the girls in the church confided in one of the other pastors on the trip that Tayo had been hosting her at his house. That wouldn’t have been an issue since we hosted our church members often. But she revealed that he tried to kiss her and made other advances. 

My head was hot. I felt more irritated than angry because I’d put up with so much from him. For him to act so brazenly, especially to the people who were under our care as leaders, was disgusting. The pastor who brought it to my attention was a good friend and called me as soon as she heard. 

Immediately after I got off the phone with the pastor, I confronted him, and he confessed. The church reached out to us and said that because he was a pastor who made advances at one of our members, we couldn’t move forward with the wedding. By then, I had already lost all interest, so the church just did what was on my mind. 

How did all this make you feel?

Neema: Honestly, I felt a sense of relief. I wasn’t completely sure that getting married at 22 was something I wanted to do anyway. The other parts of winding down a wedding that was no longer happening weren’t as bad as I thought it would be. Returning the dress, rings, and belongings we shared, felt mechanical. Since we were rushing to marry before he finished school, we hadn’t spent a lot. All I lost were some deposits to catering and decor vendors, but I’m fine with that.

What did you do after that?

Neema: I took a year off to collect myself and went back for my masters. In 2021,  I moved to Lagos to focus on my music. Tayo moved back to Nigeria in 2019, but I’ve had nothing to do with him ever since. And frankly, I’m not interested.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: The Elections May End, but My Uncle Will Remain Blocked

How did you meet Yinka? 

Bimpe: She shot a friendship shot at me. In February 2022, she DMed me on Instagram that she’d been following me for a while and thought I was really cool. She ended by saying we stayed around the same place and was wondering if we could be friends. I should’ve known from the shot that she was a weirdo, but I wanted more female friends so I was excited. 

I’m a very friendly person, and I’ve met a lot of interesting people on social media, so I wasn’t opposed to the idea. I’d travelled to Abuja, so we used the time I was away from Lagos to text each other for a bit. I wanted to know if we had anything in common before we hung out. 

We seemed to hit it off immediately. We had so much in common it was almost unbelievable. We shared similar goals and views about the world. I thought I would finally have a friend I could do things like go to the gym and run errands with. 

So you met up with her? 

Bimpe: Yeah. Two weeks after we started texting. It was supposed to be a quick lunch, nothing longer than an hour, but we stayed there for hours. We exchanged stories about our lives, drank and laughed a lot. The other people in the restaurant were looking at us strangely, but I didn’t care. I thought I’d found the next best thing to happen to me. 

We spent so much time together after. Since we lived in the same area, we’d attend events from one person’s house because it didn’t make sense to arrive separately. My parents knew her, and I knew hers too. In fact, we’d gotten so close so quickly that about two to three months after we met, we started attending each other’s family events. If she didn’t come for one, my parents would be upset. She was my best friend. 

When did you start noticing the change?

Bimpe: About four months into our friendship. I’m a very social person, and because Yinka was my best friend, I dragged her along with me to many places. When we’d go out, it suddenly felt like she was trying to outdo me. She’d always try to make me the butt of jokes even when it wasn’t called for. 

Once, at a beach party, someone complimented my bikini, but she was quick to point out that my makeup really tied the look together and that she did my makeup for me. Apparently, I’d have been so ugly if I did it myself. There was no reason for the comment. She just wanted to make me feel small. Luckily for me, I’m a very confident person. And I didn’t even notice anything before this beach incident. I think some people are just weird.

The next time we went to the beach, she was wearing the same bikini the person complimented. What kind of sick behaviour is that? 

Ah

Bimpe: That’s another thing she did a lot. Copy my style. If someone complimented my hair, she’d buy the same wig or do the same style. If someone complimented an outfit, she’d buy it and post pictures of herself in it. 

One time, I went on a date to a restaurant, and the next day, she had a date in that same restaurant. She even wore a similar outfit to the one I wore for my date.  

Coincidence? 

Bimpe: At first, I thought so, but one day in July, she’d just gotten her hair done — knotless brown box braids, and she looked really cute in them. The next week, I did layered braids in blonde because I hadn’t made my hair in weeks. Just wigs and vibes. Tell me why two days later, she posted an Instagram story from my hairdresser’s salon. This babe went and did layered braids too but in brown. Two days after I did mine? It was giving “obsessed”. 

Chelsea c’mon nau 

Bimpe: I decided to set a trap for her in August when I travelled again. I wanted to really know if she was copying me.

I removed everyone from my close friends list except her then I posted a picture of hair on the floor on my story and typed “big chop” over it. I actually got the picture from when one of my other friends cut her hair. 

A couple of days later, Yinka had cut her hair, claiming she was starting a new journey. When I got back to Lagos from Abuja the next week, she came to pick me up from the airport with my parents and was visibly shocked when she saw my afro. I just did as if nothing happened. 

When we got back to my place, she asked about my hair. That’s when I let her have it. I told her to get out of my house and reported her to my parents so they don’t make the mistake of reaching out to her. 

Detective doings 

Bimpe: It was actually scary. When I told my other friends about it, they said that whenever I travelled, she tried to talk to them or initiate hangout sessions. They agreed because she was my close friend. It was as if she wanted my life. Never again, abeg. 

Did she ever reach out after that? 

Bimpe: She did. She claimed she was mentally ill, but I just sent her the number of a psychiatrist and blocked her. You can’t be weaponising mental illness in 2023, especially considering she never cared how what she did could’ve affected my own mental health. RELATED: Sunken Ships: The Elections May End, but My Uncle Will Remain Blocked

In this episode of Sunken Ships, Kiki* (22) shares why she blocked her uncle and how it goes beyond supporting different candidates.

What was your relationship with your uncle like pre-elections? 

Kiki: Pretty normal. You know how in every Nigerian home, there are different kinds of uncles? The rich ones who always give you money, the stingy/broke ones, the one you’re convinced is a pervert, the cool one and the rest? He was one of the rest. A bit younger than my dad, but not young enough that we had things we could relate to. His children are also younger than me, so we didn’t have much to talk about. 

However, we weren’t enemies. I spent holidays in his house, and when we had family events, we had proper conversations. He didn’t treat me like a child who didn’t know anything, but he provided support only someone older can give. He’d send me articles he read and thought I was interested in so we could talk, but he also sent those ridiculous BCs and bulk messages on Whatsapp. He was okay, and so was our relationship. 

How did the fight start? 

Kiki: I won’t call it a fight, but we started having issues over WhatsApp. I hardly use the app, but that day, I decided to check people’s statuses. That’s when I saw that he’d put up the poster of a particular candidate running for President. I swiped up to have a conversation with him because I couldn’t believe who he supported. I wanted to know his thought process if any. He didn’t reply immediately — probably because of work — but we eventually had a conversation. 

The words he sent that day shocked me. I wanted to scream at him, but I maintained my peace. We had this long back and forth that ended with me blocking him. I didn’t have the strength, and he wouldn’t change his mind. 

A week later, while I was out with my mum, she stopped by his house. When we got there, he brought up the fact that I’d blocked him to my mother. It’s one thing for him to support someone who’s incompetent, but to report me to my mother over it? I lost it. I reminded them that I’m an adult and can decide I no longer want certain people to have access to my life. My mother told me it didn’t make sense for me to fight family because of politicians. That people have a right to vote and campaign for whoever they want. I told her it’s more than that. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: Politics Is Enough for Me to End Our Friendship

Explain 

Kiki: If someone doesn’t align with my values, I can also choose to remove their access to me. 

It’s not just about picking a different candidate. I think that’s very reductive of the issue. You can disagree on the policies of different candidates. Candidate one wants to increase tax by 5%, and candidate two wants to reduce it by 3%. Or one candidate wants to make Lagos the capital of Nigeria, while another wants to make Edo state the capital. These are differences you don’t have to cut off friends and family members over. 

But  he’s endorsing a corrupt, terrorism-affiliated, allegation-heavy candidate whose policies might as well lead to the end of my life.  I’m upset that he supports someone who’ll most likely make millions of people suffer. I have every right to choose to no longer associate with someone who willingly chooses death and suffering. 

It shows his beliefs and values align with said candidate. If the candidate he supports has made degrading comments about people from certain tribes, it means my uncle feels the same way. If the person is known to align with thugs and thieves, then that’s something my uncle stands for. I don’t stand for those things, so why should I keep him around? 

What’ll happen after the elections? 

Kiki: Nothing. He’s still blocked and will forever remain blocked. Why should he remain in my life? He’s been reporting me to family members, and they’ve called and begged, but that’s their business. I don’t know why they think my uncle and I must talk by force. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Best Friend Didn’t Like Him so We Broke Up

Lolade* (29) and Amarachi*(29) have been best friends for over a decade. Their friendship almost ended when Lolade started dating Osas*. 

How did you and your best friend meet? 

Lolade: We met in church 13 years ago. It was Sunday school. There was a quiz competition for teenagers. We tied for first place and have been conquering the world together every day since. 

That’s adorable

Lolade: She’s one of the best things to ever happen to me. When I broke my leg and had to walk around in a cast when I was 19, she called herself my personal assistant and did everything for me. Picking up my pens that fell, helping me do the dishes at home and loosening my hair. We made promises to each other early in life that we’d stand together no matter what. 

Sure, we got into arguments a couple of times, but we always tried to resolve it despite being very stubborn. The one time it seemed like an argument would last longer than a couple of hours, our parents got involved. They sat us down and reminded us about how much we love each other. 

How did the guy now enter into all of this? 

Lolade: I met Osas in 2021. I had gone out to a restaurant to eat alone because Amarachi was in a meeting with an international client. As I sat alone, trying to enjoy my own company, the waiter brought me a drink I didn’t order. When I tried to explain that it was a mix-up, she informed me that someone had sent it to me. I asked her who it was because I wanted to thank him, but all she did was give me his number on a piece of paper. That he said if I wanted to thank him, I should call him. I won’t lie, I was kind of impressed. Things like that don’t happen to me every day, so I was curious to see it through. When I got home, I sent him a text thanking him for the drink. That’s how Osas and I got to talking. 

Was it love at first text? 

Lolade: Not really. I mean, I don’t fall in love with people that easily, so I don’t think I’ve ever had a “love at first “ anything. I did however grow to like Osas. We went on a date about a week after the drinks thing and it was the first time I was meeting him face-to-face. Amarachi went to the restaurant we were to have our date at about thirty minutes before me so she could step in if he turned out to be a creep or a weirdo. Luckily for me, he didn’t try anything on the date. He was very respectful throughout the date and he made me laugh a lot. At one point, I texted Amarachi to meet me in the bathroom and we had a mini-session where I just filled her in on how the date was going. 

The conversation I had with him was great and I didn’t want that night to end. Amarachi and I had planned a movie night that day and that was the only thing stopping me from going home with him. It was a long time since I had a date with a man that made me feel as good as he did. 

Then what?

Lolade: Well, we kept talking. We’d go on dates, he’d buy me gifts and flowers, etc. He was very determined in his pursuit of me. I liked it. I’m the firstborn and apart from Amarachi, nobody really took care of me. They all just expected me to “handle it”. Having someone who was intentional about making my life easier really made me fall fast. Two months after talking, he came over to my house one day to do my dishes because I was too lazy to do any housework. I fell for this man hard. 

We started dating three months after our first date. I became a “my man, my man, my man” kind of girl. Every opportunity I got, I was talking about him and how amazing he treated me. I was in love with him. 

What changed? 

Lolade: Amarachi didn’t like him so much. Throughout the talking stage, Amarachi told me she had a bad feeling about him. Now, Amarachi is more spiritual than I am so she believes in auras and reading people’s energies. Not really my type of thing, but whenever she does it, I leave her to her devices. However, I didn’t understand why she couldn’t like him. She’d always complained to me that I settle when it comes to romantic relationships, so I didn’t understand why she wasn’t excited there was a guy finally treating me the way she had always wanted for me. 

Whenever I mentioned I was spending time with him, she’d try to change the topic as quickly as possible. If I was telling her about something nice he did for me, she’d end it with a “that’s nice” and keep it moving. It was a side of her I hardly ever saw and it made me start keeping things about him from her. I’d lie about who I was spending time with and talking to and I knew she knew I was lying, but she never pushed. It started creating a divide. 

Damn

Lolade: It made me start withdrawing from her a lot. We used to have brunch every Sunday and I started skipping it a few times. Our calls became shorter and since I was almost always at Osas’ house or he was at mine, we didn’t have our sleepovers anymore. Our lifetime friendship was slipping away right before my eyes and I did nothing about it. 

Why? 

Lolade: I got too attached to Osas. He was doing everything for me and I liked how he made me feel. For the first time, I considered marrying someone. It felt like he was my one true shot at a fairytale life and I didn’t want to let it go. 

When I told Osas about the whole Amarachi situation, he told me she was jealous of me. That since she’s the one used to having different guys shower her with attention, she didn’t know how to react to seeing me in a loving and thriving relationship. He encouraged me to stay away from her and ice her out from a couple of things and me, the olodo that I am, I did. 

Amarachi didn’t stop reaching out to me. She’d text, try to call, she even emailed me, but I was not answering. One day she showed up at my office and demanded to see me or else she was not leaving. I know her, and I knew it was not an empty threat, so I went to meet her. She shouted at me in front of everyone. Called me an idiot for letting a man come between us and threatened to beat sense into my head if I didn’t act right. She reminded me of when we promised each other that we’d never argue because of a man and that here I was, refusing to speak to her because a man asked me to. Honestly, I was a bit disgusted at myself for that. Truly, how? 

That’s when I realised that all the things I was hyping this man for doing for me, Amarachi did. She’d come to my house when I have cramps, read me bedtime stories, clean and cook. When my car was bad, she drove me to work every day even though she worked from home. She bought me flowers and even flew me out of the country once because I had complained about being exhausted from work. I think the day she showed up to my office knocked sense into my head. 

What did you do? 

Lolade: I broke up with him. We had been dating for almost a year at this point and were even planning to move in together. But right then and there in the office, I sent him a text saying we needed to end our relationship. I knew the right guy for me will be someone my best friend will love wholeheartedly and if she didn’t, then he was not the one. I cried a lot that day but Amarachi was there, holding my hand through it all. 

Wow. That’s a lot

Lolade: That’s not even the end. A couple of months later, I found out that he was arrested for fraud. Amarachi was so tickled when she found out. She still rubs it in my face that she saved me from having all my assets seized. That I’d have been using my money to hire lawyers for a criminal. I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if we were dating when he got arrested. We’d have moved in together and they’d have seized my house. What would I have done? Now, I take her gut feelings more seriously than I ever did. Before a case of “hath I known” will be my portion.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Stopped Talking to Her Because She Was Broke

Talk to me 

Yinka: I once cut off a friend because she was broke. 

Ah 

Yinka: When I say it like that it sounds terrible, but it was more than that. She was very annoying because she was broke.

Please explain 

Yinka: So we’re a group of four babes who went to the same university. Me and Uche were roommates in 2015, so we knew each other longer. The third, Toyin, was a coursemate of mine I got close to later that year, and the fourth, Halima, we met at a party in 2016. It’s been the four of us since then. 

We made promises to each other that we’d always stay in touch. We envisioned a life that allowed us to travel and wear expensive clothes like the girls we saw in magazines. It’s not like it was impossible. All of us came from middle class families so the plan was to build on what we already have. 

How did that work out? 

Yinka: Not so well in the beginning. We left school in 2017, and it was bad job after bad job for all of us. Add in some failed businesses and investments and it was a disaster. Life was hitting us back-to- back. 

Damn 

Yinka: Things didn’t start looking up until the middle of 2018. I got a new job and so did Halima. Uche decided that a 9-5 wasn’t for her and started her own business, and Toyin got a promotion at her job. It was great. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Wasn’t Her Emergency Wallet

What made it so great? 

Yinka: We could finally do some of the things we’d planned to do since we were in university. We started going to parties together and buying tables, planning vacations within Nigeria and having movie nights in our houses. It wasn’t big things, but it was great. 

We also got to show up for each other in better ways. We’d give each other expensive bags and household items for birthdays and other important dates. I loved how our sisterhood improved when we had money. 

But nobody sounds broke here 

Yinka: That’s the thing. Being broke is a state of mind for some people, and Toyin was one of such people. As the years went on, we started making even more money. We really poured a lot of what we had into our work and it showed great results. However, since all fingers aren’t equal, some people earned more than others. As at 2021, Toyin earned the least. 

We never brought up it, but she did. Constantly. We’d go out for dinner and Toyin would automatically declare that we shouldn’t expect anything from her since we’re the rich ones. It was ridiculous because someone would’ve already said the meal was on them before we even went to the restaurant. 

Other times, it’s when we wanted to contribute money for a gift for one of us. She would start complaining that we’re giving gifts that are too expensive. She’d borrow money from us and never pay back, collect all our expensive items and never replace them. We didn’t understand what was going on. 

What if she was struggling? 

Yinka: We asked her about work and even offered help on many occasions, but she just acted weird about it. It almost always ended up in an argument where she hinted we were calling her poor.

We once gifted her six months rent so she could at least save the rent money for something else. But throughout that period, she still made weird jokes about how much less she earned and stuff. I started to think she preferred that both her money and ours was spent on her alone. But it’s not how friendship works.

Did you ever talk to her about it? 

Yinka: I did towards the end of 2021. My other friends are very soft people. I’m the more direct one about things like this, maybe because I’m an aries. I pulled her aside once and told her the jokes were weird. It’s not like she even earned much less than we did. It was just a small margin, but she kept trying to make it as though she were dirt poor. 

What happened next?

Yinka: She flared up and told me I was wicked. This led to her kind of withdrawing from the group and I just stopped talking to her completely. We still talk to her as a group, buy her gifts, send her flowers and stuff, but for me to text her personally? Not at all. 

Her attitude to earning less was the problem. We didn’t mind giving. She just seemed too entitled to it.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Was Too Much of a Bad Bitch for Him

The subject of this week’s Sunken Ships is Mercy* (26). She tells us how she had to suppress her bad bitch life because of her ex, Olamide* (28). He didn’t like that she was always outside and knew so many rich people.

How did you meet? 

Mercy: Olamide and I met in 2020 at a small New Year’s Eve party. Since the COVID restrictions weren’t completely lifted, it was an invite-only party, but we could all bring plus one’s. He was his friend’s plus one. So there was one guy who kept trying to talk to me. I just grabbed Olamide randomly, and pretended he was my boyfriend. Luckily for me, he went along with it and the other guy bought it. That’s how we started talking that night. 

He looked harmless, so I just stayed with him. He told me about anime, tech, crypto, and all the other stuff he was interested in. I wasn’t really into any of that, but he spoke with so much passion that I listened. Plus, he was kind of funny. I had a good time. Towards the end of the party, we exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. We did. 

And then? 

Mercy: We texted as often as we could and even planned to meet up. What really drew me to him was how different he is from the kind of guys and girls I usually date. Because of the kind of work I do, I’m used to people who want to be as public as possible because of collaboration opportunities and other stuff. He, on the other hand, was a banker who loved to watch anime and read books. A good time for him was indoors just chilling. It was refreshing, and he quickly became a safe space for me for when outside became a little too much. 

So what happened next?

Mercy: The first time we went on a date was a week or so after the party. It was to a lovely restaurant I’d been to a couple of times. He said he wanted to impress me, and I thought it was cute. I got there before him because I lived closer to the place, so while I waited, the waiter told me someone bought me a bottle of wine. I’d already had about two glasses when Olamide arrived. 

We talked a bit, ate some really good food and even drank the wine together. When the bill came and he asked why the wine wasn’t on the bill, the waiter informed him that it was paid for by someone else. He got upset that I shared a drink with him bought by another man on our date, but I apologised, and he let it go. 

Did things like that happen often? 

Mercy: Random people buying me stuff? Yes. I won’t say I’m the prettiest girl in Lagos, because babes dey, but I can hold my own. Plus, people with money just like to impress. I didn’t grow up rich, but I grew up around rich people, so I had a lot of connections and certain doors opened for me because of this. I’ve gotten used to being around people who flaunt their money hoping it’ll get something from whoever. But it’s usually because they have nothing else to offer. I take the money or gifts because it’ll make them feel good about themselves, and I get to spend less. Win for everybody. 

How did Olamide feel about this? 

Mercy: Oh, he hated it. Before we started dating in April 2021, I tried to hide it from him as much as possible. I chalked up most of the perks to being a part of my job but didn’t go into details. 

What changed after you started dating? 

Mercy: I couldn’t hide the real sources of the gifts any longer. It’s not like I didn’t try, but dating meant we spent a lot of time together, and he got to see what my life was really like — parties, gifts, mini and not-so-mini celebrities and a lot of other things. I tried my best to make him feel as involved as possible, but he made it very clear that it wasn’t his thing and I should just have fun. At first, it wasn’t a problem. I’d text him while I was out and sometimes call him when I get back. Sometimes, I’d go out from his place so he could watch me get ready. When I return, he’d help me take off my makeup and clothes, and we’d cuddle till I fall asleep. 

I also stopped accepting every invitation to every event. Being with him made the world stop moving at 1.5x speed. We’d order food in and take turns watching romantic comedies and the anime and thrillers he liked. The first couple of months into the relationship were great. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: Love Isn’t Always Enough

When did it stop being so great? 

Mercy: I can’t pinpoint exactly when, but I know my birthday in September was a disaster. It wasn’t because of anything he did, but because of everything else that happened. At this point, we’d basically moved into my place together because it was bigger and closer to where he worked. 

So on my birthday, he wanted us to have a sit-down dinner at home. He’d cook, we’d dance to some songs from the speaker and do a marathon of movies I’ve been meaning to see. I loved the idea. I hadn’t spent my birthday indoors in about three years, so I was excited. It was a Friday, so he got home earlier than he usually does and met several boxes and bags of stuff in the house. People had gotten me a lot of gifts. Hair, money towers, expensive perfumes, clothes, etc. He didn’t say anything, but with each delivery I got, he got quieter. During dinner and after, my phone kept ringing and buzzing from notifications. I had to turn it off at some point. 

The next day, my friends were throwing a birthday thing for me at the club, and he’d agreed to come, but he suddenly changed his mind. He said he wouldn’t feel comfortable there, and I didn’t rate him as much as I did my club and party friends. I was upset he’d think that because I’d turned down so many requests to hang out on my birthday just so I could spend time with him. 

I went to the club alone and tried to have fun, but I kept thinking of how sad he must’ve been. When I texted, he didn’t reply. I called, he didn’t pick up. I couldn’t face him, so I told him I won’t be coming home and spent the weekend at my friend’s place. 

How did you guys move on from that? 

Mercy: I don’t think we really did. I went back to the place on Monday and tried to cheer him up with a gift I got him. It was a sweater of one of the animes he likes, but he barely acknowledged the gift. He just said he wasn’t upset and we just continued living together. 

I kept trying to keep things from him to prevent him from getting upset, but that backfired because it made him think I was cheating on him. 

Were you? 

Mercy: Not at all, but he thought everyone was a suspect. Whenever I mentioned hanging out with a girl or sleeping over at hers, he’d get pretty defensive and angry about it. He even tried to stop me from going out a couple of times, even when he knew they were work outings. 

At a point, my friend got involved and staged an intervention for me. She told me that he knew the kind of person I was before he started dating me, and I did all I possibly could to reassure him. It wasn’t fair that I was the one making all the sacrifices and walking around eggshells because I didn’t want to upset him. She rounded it up by saying I was too much of a bad bitch for him so he either had to get with the program or get out. 

Damn. That’s a lot

Mercy: Yeah, she’s kind of intense. Would you believe that I didn’t even break up with him after her pep talk? It wasn’t until November ending that I found out he was cheating on me with one of his coworkers. 

How did you find out? 

Mercy: I needed his phone for a video I was making and she texted. I went through their replies and I was wrecked. I threw him out of my house, blocked him everywhere, and I haven’t been in contact with him since then. 

Wow. Any regrets? 

Mercy: That I allowed myself change so much for him. Sure, staying indoors is nice and fun, but I chose my line of work because I like to be outside. I like to shake my ass and have fun with my friends. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t like that. It’s too much of an important part of my life. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I No Longer Have Friends in Nigeria

The subject of this week’s Sunken Ships is a woman who’s tired of losing her friends to the japa wave. After having four of her friends leave, Yinka* (28) feels she has no friends left in Nigeria, but she still doesn’t want to leave.

Let’s start from the beginning

Yinka: In 2015, Adeola, my friend from church, was my first friend to leave Nigeria. We’d been friends since we were children. Our mothers were both in the choir, so we often saw each other during practices and church programmes. 

I’m not a very outgoing person, so making friends was difficult for me. She was about my only friend in the church even after I’d been going there for a decade. But she had a few other friends outside of me. She never for once made me feel like I wasn’t as important as her other friends. She even introduced me to them. We barely argued, and everything seemed really great. 

She never indicated that she planned on leaving the country, or I just didn’t know because she didn’t consider us close enough. Either way, I didn’t find out until a day before she left. We were eating sugar cane when she told me her flight out of the country was the next day. I didn’t know what to do except be happy for her, so I was. 

What do you mean by you didn’t know what to do? 

Yinka: Well, the babe and I weren’t close enough for it to have caused me to break down into tears. However, we were close enough that I could feel her departure. For the first couple of Sundays, I unconsciously kept looking for her in church. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Best Friend Lied About His Move Abroad

Did you think the japa situation was going to become a problem later? 

Yinka: No, I didn’t. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have many friends, but at that time, people barely spoke about leaving the country. A lot of us were just leaving school or starting new jobs, and the phrase on our lips was, “The country will get better.” There was still a lot of patriotism in the air at the time. 

When did you realise it might be a problem? 

Yinka: 2017, when another friend left Nigeria. Betty* and I met each other during NYSC in 2015. We were bunkmates and got along great. 

Unlike my church friend, Betty always made it clear that her Nigeria situation was not permanent. For her, NYSC was a way to waste her time while she waited for word from the schools she’d applied to. 

Honestly, I admired her for knowing what she wanted out of life and fighting really hard for it. However, it didn’t hurt any less when she left. I’d been carried along through the entire process, but her farewell dinner was the first time I cried. Seeing everyone talk about how much they’d miss her, I almost lost my mind. When it was my turn to say a few things about her, I just cried and hugged her. I was going to miss her so much. 

Was keeping in touch with these people not an option? 

Yinka: It was, but how long could we keep in touch? Maybe it’s because I’m a very out of sight person, but I find it very difficult to keep in touch with people I don’t see often. Adeola and I weren’t close enough for weekly calls, but we did try to have them once every two weeks. With time, it dwindled to just liking each other’s posts on Instagram. 

Betty and I tried to do weekly calls, but her classes got too demanding, my job got too stressful, and with a seven-hour time difference, there was only so much we could do. We still occasionally text, but it wasn’t the same as when she could enter a cab to my office because she wanted me to buy her amala from the woman who sold it near my office. 

Okay, I see your point 

Yinka: I’m not saying no one can maintain a healthy long-distance friendship, but I’m not one of those people who can. My distance has to be driveable. 

How many more times did you have a friend leave the country? 

Yinka: Twice. The next was in 2019, and I think it caused a major problem for me. Even though it was someone I’d known for roughly a year, I’m still trying to recover from no longer being able to see her. 

Chidera* and I were coworkers. Our company hired her almost immediately after they hired me in 2018, and we spent a lot of time together, trying to solve the problems our bosses created for us. I wasn’t expecting us to build a strong friendship, but it happened. 

It was a couple of months after she was hired. We met at a party one of my cousins had invited me to. Since she was the only person I knew outside of my cousin, we sat together. We talked about work and life outside of work. I think that’s when we realised we had a lot in common. We exchanged social media accounts and kept in touch. It started with tweets about shows we were watching, then it progressed to texts then calls. 

Whenever we sat together to work, we barely got anything done. Even our co-workers knew how close we were. They said arguing with one of us was like arguing with both of us. Why? Because we always had each other’s back. 

That’s so cute 

Yinka: She was my confidant and best friend, and I knew I was hers too. We had sleepovers at each other’s houses, talked about the men in our lives and discussed plans to live a better life. 

During one of such discussions, she mentioned applying for new jobs. At first, I thought her search was limited to Abuja, but she mentioned jobs in Lagos and Canada. 

I sent her every link I could find to every job opening related to what she wanted to do. At a point, if you opened my phone, all you saw were job applications. I helped her fill her forms, and when she got the job, I took her out to dinner and we drank, cried and drank some more. 

We found buyers for her property together. I bought the ticket she used to leave the country. And because her parents are late, I was the only person who followed her to the airport. Her only sibling was waiting to receive her in Canada. 

How did it feel watching her leave? 

Yinka: I didn’t leave the airport premises until she sent me a message that she’d boarded her flight. I refused to drive to the airport because my chest was too tight for me to think straight. And I cried so much, my Uber driver had to ask me if someone died. 

I took a week off work and even left our former company three months after. I couldn’t work there anymore. It wasn’t the same without her. Chidera and I still speak, at least more than I do with Adeola or Betty. We had to schedule each other into our lives. We speak on the phone every Sunday afternoon and try to get up to date with what’s going on. I still miss her so much. I was supposed to travel to see her in 2020, but with COVID-19 and the lockdown, that didn’t happen. I’m planning another trip for later in 2023, so let’s hope nothing spoils that one. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend and I Blame Nigeria

So watching a friend leave for the fourth time…

Yinka: It was my cousin and she left in 2022. She’d gotten married during the pandemic in 2020, and her husband left for the USA in 2021. In 2022, they finally worked all their papers and she went to join him. I didn’t follow her to the airport or even attend her farewell party. I told her congratulations, sent her some money and prayed for her. Anything more was not in my power to do. I was numb to it all by this point.

Why? 

Yinka: I’m exhausted. Maybe it’s japa fatigue, but I don’t know how to process watching someone leave again. Sure, it’s not like they’re dying, but what’s the point? 

The whole situation has made it even harder for me to make friends. Almost everyone you meet now is talking about leaving the country or asking you when you plan to leave. What’s the point of making a new friend who’ll leave you in a couple of months for greener pastures? I don’t blame them because Nigeria is hard. But it’s getting harder because I have no friends to lean on. I’m extremely lonely, and there’s not much I can do about it. 

Do you want to leave Nigeria?

Yinka: It seems like the sensible choice, but my answer is no. I don’t want to go. I’m my parents’ only child; I don’t want to leave them alone. I also don’t like the idea of starting over. Learning a new language? A new set of customs and behaviours? I can’t do it. I just hope things change in Nigeria so moving countries doesn’t become a prayer point for me in the future. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: Politics Is Enough for Me to End Our Friendship

The subject of this Sunken Ships is *Kunle (27), who tells us how he chose the elections over his friendship and why he can’t be friends with “politically irresponsible” people. 

How did you become friends with this person?

Kunle: I want to believe Femi* and I became friends the same day his mother started renting the shop beside my mothers. We were the same age and both spent a lot of time in the shops after school. We’d do our homework together and play football in front of the shops together. Sometimes, if my mum wants to go somewhere, she’d just leave me with Femi’s mum. I think we were even the reason our mums became friends. 

When we were ten years old, we applied to the same secondary school and we became even closer. One of our mums will drop us off at resumption and they rotated picking us up as well as coming for our visiting days. At a point, people just assumed we were brothers. We shared many things and I knew I could always count on him and his mum and they could do the same. 

That’s cute.

Kunle: I won’t say cute exactly. It’s like we didn’t have any choice but to be friends. Being friends was the sensible option and it’s the one we chose. 

So you didn’t like each other? 

Kunle: We did o, but since with all the time we spent around each other, it was bound to happen. I just think if not for the proximity we had towards each other, it may not have happened. 

Femi has always been a bit more outgoing and irresponsible than I have. While I was the first child, he’s the last born, so his parents were a lot more lenient with him than they were with me. Add to the fact that the age gap between him and the child immediately before him is five years, his parents and two siblings let him get away with almost anything. 

I, on the other hand, had to deal with firstborn pressure. I’d have to look after not just myself, but my three younger siblings. There was a lot on my plate and a lot was expected from me. I tried to be that good example my siblings need. 

So, it’s not like we didn’t like each other. I had grown to love him like a brother. It’s just that a lot of my life would have happened differently if not for him. 

As in how? 

Kunle: When we were 16, he got a girlfriend. That wasn’t a problem, but he felt I had to have one too, so he introduced me to her friend and we started dating. My mind wasn’t in that relationship, but I did it anyways. Femi was fun. To be friends with him, you have to be fun as well. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: What’s Friendship Without Trust

Interesting. So did you remain friends till your adulthood? 

Kunle: Yes, we did. However, we moved houses and by extension, shops. Femi and I’s friendship had already taken a hit when we both went to different universities, but we still saw each other when we could. After the move though, there was a time I didn’t see him for almost a full year. I was 20 then. Luckily, our mothers kept in touch and we reconnected as friends. We’d go to events, drink and watch football together. Just the little things to maintain the friendship. 

I won’t say we were as close as we used to be, but we still treated each other like brothers. When his dad died in 2015, I went to the burial and stayed with him for a while. Even helped his mother with some running around seeing as the first son was not in the country anymore. 

You guys had been through a lot together

Kunle: Yes, we have. He was my longest friend, ever. 

So why exactly did you both stop being friends?

Kunle: The problem started around 2022 when people started declaring their interest in running for President. Out of all the candidates, I think there’s only one sensible option, and I thought it was so obvious, anyone with eyes can see it. Turned out, not everyone is interested in this country finally having progress. 

When we started discussing politics, it turned out that my friend had another candidate in mind. I was not one of those politically serious people, but this election means a lot to me. Over half of my friend group has left the country in search of greener pastures. My rent is ridiculous and my salary is just enough for the things I need. Barely enough for savings and other things. I can’t continue in a Nigeria like this. So I started discussing politics with my friends a lot more than we usually did. I encouraged them to register for their PVC and to vote as well. I carried the matter on my head. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: She Chose Jesus Over Me

Political gbogbo 

Kunle: Abeg. I don’t like how this country is and I want to do my part in making sure it changes. That’s why in the usual fashion of encouraging my friends to do things, I reached out to Femi to find out his plans for the election. As we were talking, I found out he planned to vote for a different candidate than me and that’s when the fighting started. I’d question him about the reasons for his choice and he’d never give me a sensible answer. I was irritated. I’d send presidential rallies, articles and videos to try to convince him otherwise, but he didn’t budge. 

The day I saw him actively campaigning for his candidate? I wanted to beat him up. I knew his irresponsibility was a lot, but is he not tired of how this country is? To me, it was like he was actively putting our lives in danger. I didn’t care if he was just one vote. I couldn’t look past the display of foolishness. The friendship could not continue. Before someone will associate me with his brand of nonsense. 

That was it? 

Kunle: That was it. I didn’t need either reason. Which other reason could I have possibly needed? Political irresponsibility is basically murder. If you’re irresponsible with your vote, your candidate and the policies you support, you’re risking people’s lives by trying to elect the worst option possible. 

Hmm

Kunle: I simply stopped talking to him

and he stopped talking to me either. We’re on two opposite sides, so there’s no fence sitting that can happen here. His mother still asks after me and I occasionally call to say hello, but Femi? Never again o. When we see each other outside, we act as if we don’t know each other. Our mutual friends have picked up on it, but they haven’t asked why exactly we stopped talking. 

Do you regret it? 

Kunle: My future and that of Nigeria is more important to me than any friendship. I can and will end any friendship over politics.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Work Wife Made the Job Enjoyable